DramaRama Brouhaha
by The Kobold Necromancer
Summary: There's actually very little drama to be found at the DramaRama Daycare, where our future campers spent their toddler days. After all, it's much more like an action story with the usual mech-caused destruction, planned marriages, kids kidnapping kids, and other very casual shenanigans that will be listed here in due time. You've got time to waste, try this out.


**Author's Note/Ramblings** \- If you have any complaints about how my writing may be predictable, if you are thinking, "He's STILL doing the same ships and ridiculousness as before," if you are thinking, "When's he going to update so-and-so?!"…

First off, Total Drama So-And-So isn't my story. Secondly, yes, I am predictable. I am so blasé and one-note, I'm pretty sure I have KILLED with my boredom. So there, don't read if you don't want to die.

*Cue evil but very monotone laughter, and then we're good to go!*

* * *

 **Episode 1-1**

 **Rock'Em Sock'Em Kinder'Garten**

Izzy stared up at the ceiling, lying on her back in the middle of the playroom. She mimed chewing gum, something she imagined bored people do when contemplating action and non-action, entertainment, and life in general. There was the intense feeling of blood slowing down in flow because of how much her body was suffering from a crippling case of system-staggering ennui.

After all, it had only been five minutes since something had happened to the four year old redhead.

"ARGH!" she screamed, randomly and suddenly, then went back to staring at the ceiling. Nope, no one paid any heed to her shouting. Usually they did, she had learned this habit when she was craving attention; now it was not working, and her little mind was trying to decide on why exactly.

" _Okay, it has to be one of three reasons,_ " she thought, still mimicking chewing gum for reasons only known to her. " _One, I didn't yell loud enough and I have to do it again with more gusto. Two, everyone has gotten used to it, and they refuse to acknowledge it because it encourages me to do it more. Three, they're all dead or unconscious, and I failed to notice it._

"…

"AAAAAAAAAARGH!"

"IZZY!" Noah stomped over, clenching his little fists as his little eyes narrowed on her little tantrum. "Stop that, right now. I'm not spending this boring day here listening to you scream randomly!"

"But I'm bored…"

"We're all bored! Everyone is bored! We're so bored…"

Noah paused, then tapped his lips. He really wanted to do some kind of cool comparison, a snide simile, something like that. Unfortunately, as much as he wanted to, his vocabulary was failing him. Mostly because he was still learning how to read sentences.

"Um, we're all as bored… as a forest! Because they're made of wood, and so are boards! You get it?"

He smiled nervously, as Izzy pursed her lips and pouted. Noah sighed and replied, "Look, I'm not in charge of fun here! Don't look at me like that."

"How should I look at you?"

Izzy crossed her eyes and giggled as Noah blurred and doubled in her line of sight. She rolled her pupils up and stuck her tongue out, going, "Blargh!" Then the little redhead covered her eyes, but peered through her fingers. "Heeheehee! … Nope, this isn't as much as fun as I thought it would be."

"Izzy, stop using me for your source of fun."

"Hey, I do what I can with the resources I have!"

She stood up and stomped over to Noah, poking his nose with her fingertip. "I thought _boys_ were supposed to be nice to girls, and make them feel better!"

Noah opened his mouth, struggling for an answer.

* * *

 **(Confessional Cam - Or maybe it's the Camarama?)**

 **Noah** \- * _is sitting in a small plastic chair, pouting as he tries to put a puzzle together_ * "It's not fair that I cannot think of a smart answer to when she says stuff like that. It is times like this I wish I was older, and I would know what I could say to her."

* * *

 ** _(Approximately 10+ years in the future…)_**

Noah suddenly stopped reading the book he had in his hands, blinking as a realization hit him. Turning towards the redheaded girl sitting next to him, he declared, "I don't recall signing that contract!"

"… What?" Izzy asked.

"Oh, sorry. Just had a realization, and I had to act on it."

She blinked, then grinned. "You're STILL hung up on that day?"

"I'm fairly certain I still have bruises from that day, Izzy! And what's more, as a follow-up to what you said next, I didn't want to become the world's youngest organ donor!"

* * *

 _ **(Back to the "present" day...)**_

Izzy grabbed Noah's shoulders and shook him. "Don't you want to be nice to a girl like me and provide some kind of entertainment?"

The very nervous boy glanced back and forth, biting his bottom lip. Words failed him, fear had set in. He was way too young to deal with gender politics like this.

Nearby, a very bored Duncan found a new source of entertainment for him. And since it involved chaos, it was perfect! With a smug grin, he walked up to the arguing toddlers, and said, "Well of course he doesn't want to entertain a girl, he's a boy. Boys don't wanna be nice to girls, they think they're gross!"

"WHAT?!" Izzy declared, eyes widening. They almost engulfed her forehead.

"Yeah, that's how most boys are," Duncan said, feeling the eyes of everyone in the daycare on him now. "Boys think girls are really gross, that's why they're avoiding you!"

Bridgette and Leshawna, sitting at the art table, both gasped in horror at the realization. It was known by most in the daycare that since Duncan was rude, abusive, and manipulative, obviously he was the most believable.

The two girls turned, angry expressions on their faces. Harold was seated two chairs away with them, doing his best to draw a ninja-cyborg. When he felt the upset stares practically burning the side of his face, he turned and saw the angry girls. Glancing to his side, hoping it was someone else, he realized it had to be him.

"N-no," he sputtered out, holding his artwork as a shield in front of him. "I don't think that!"

It was a honest response, but sadly, there was the total coincidence that he had picked a chair that had a gap between him and the two girls. Little children don't believe in coincidence.

"Is that true?" Beth asked aloud, waving her arms in the air. "Do boys really think girls are gross?"

"Sure do!" Duncan said with a laugh. "Oh, but not me, I just am telling you because I realized this recently. And since I'm telling you that, you know I'm telling the truth!"

* * *

 **(Confessional Cam - There's drool on the lens, did one of the kids teethe on this?!)**

 **Duncan** \- * _leaning back in a chair, grinning as he puts his feet up on the table; he kicks off a half-completed puzzle onto the floor_ * "Hahaha! I cannot believe how easy it is to mani… mani-pu… 'manpulate'… how easy it is to trick these guys!"

* * *

"How could we have been tricked like this?" Izzy declared. "All this time, we've been seen as GROSS by the boys?!"

"No!" Harold exclaimed, quivering now as Bridgette and Leshawna were frowning at him darker than ever now. "No no no! It's not true!"

Nearby him, Jude was trying to organize his action figures to set up a scene. Courtney had been sitting nearby, and, upon hearing this 'revelation,' angrily swatted the figures to knock them all down.

"Aww," the boy complained, crossing his arms, "it doesn't look as cool if they're all at nap time."

"We must declare a revolution!" Izzy shouted, marching over to the art table and jumping on it. "We will prove to the boys, to the daycare, to the world, that we are not gross!"

"Hey," Courtney interjected. "The burden of proof does not lie upon us, it is up to them to prove their case!"

Green eyes blinked in utter confusion, and Izzy pursed her lips. "What do those wordy words mean?"

"If you're not intelligent enough to know, then that's your problem."

* * *

 **(Confessional Cam - I could have sworn these kids were older last I saw them…)**

 **Courtney** \- * _sitting on the sofa, glancing guilty-like to the side_ * "Okay, I don't know either, it's something my mother says. But I cannot let them know that!"

* * *

"Oh, so that's how it is, huh?" Izzy barked. "Alright then! It's not just boys versus girls now, it's smart versus not smart! We'll show you!"

The children in the daycare all gasped, realizing it was going down. Beth was shaking, glancing back and forth for a way to escape this madness. Harold felt sweat run down his forehead, his world having turned upside-down. Jude screamed, "No, not another one of these!" as he hid under a table where he felt he could be safe.

Bridgette took the initiative and stood up, tapping Izzy on the hip. "Um, what exactly are we doing? I thought it was just being mad at the boys for thinking we're gross."

"I don't think you're gross," Harold wailed.

"Keep lying, dude," Duncan called out with a wicked cackle. "They'll believe you eventually, maybe!"

"We're all gross in the end," Gwen spoke, glaring at the bickering toddlers around the room. "Eventually we all die, and then we rot, and we're nothing but moldy corpses underground that not even the worms want to touch with how gross we are."

With these words of wisdom, she stepped backwards, blending into the shadows. The last thing the children saw were her judging eyes, or, with Izzy's keen eyesight, her trip and fall over backwards out of sight.

"Well, even if that's true," Leshawna declared, trying to recover from the weirdness of that comment, "I refuse to be considered gross! What are we doing, Izzy?"

"I'm telling what we're doing, sister! We're going to not be bored anymore, by starting a revolution!"

"You don't need to do that!" Noah shouted, throwing his little fists in the air. "Stop declaring revolutions because you don't want to be bored, Izzy!"

* * *

 **(Confessional Cam - I could have sworn they were all young adults…)**

 **Noah** \- * _picking the pieces of the puzzle back up and trying to organize it_ * "Izzy has done about four revolutions since I've known her. I didn't even know what a revolution was until her first one, and I don't think she knew either."

* * *

"Okay, here's the deal," Izzy shouted, stomping her foot on the art table. "We're going to have a contest between boys and girls, and prove that we're not gross! Then we're going to out-do the smarty-pants kids, and prove we're better than them too!"

"This is unnecessary complicated," Bridgette complained. "How exactly are we supposed to do this?"

"Um… oh, I know! First, let me pick my competitor! Owen!"

Izzy glanced around the room to see if she could spot her usual partner-in-crime. The big kid, however, was asleep on the sofa, taking a nap after a very long job this morning (around the room once). "Oh, he's unconscious. Darn. Oh, I know! You, the one who thinks girls are most gross!"

She was pointing at Harold. The little nerd could have sworn a dramatic lightning bolt went off as she did this. "I keep telling you," he said, trying to sound more mature but only succeeding in making his voice more squeaky, "I don't think-WAAAAH!"

Izzy grabbed him and yanked him up onto the table. Sizing him up, she declared, "Alright, Harold! The deal is, we're both going to spit! Whoever spits the furthest wins!"

"Eww, spitting?" Bridgette declared, making a little face. "Izzy, spitting's gross."

There was a pause, as life-shattering realization entered into Izzy's brain. She gripped her head, as if it was trying to escape through her noggin, and screamed, "OH NO! I _AM_ GROSS! ARRRRRGH!"

She jumped off the table and ran around the room, screaming as she tried to remove this horrid truth from reality. Harold stood there on the table, wondering if he could come down now.

* * *

 **(Confessional Cam - Are there stale chips in here too!?)**

 **Harold** \- * _hiding under a table_ * "It's not fair! I never thought girls were gross. Girls are nice! Well, except for Courtney, and Izzy. And my older sister. … Come to think of it, there's a lot of mean girls in my life. That's why I don't want the nice girls to dislike me!"

 **Bridgette** \- * _glancing under the table_ * "Harold? What are you doing under there?"

 **Harold** \- * _He squeaks in surprising, getting up in a hurry, and thus banging his head against the table._ *

* * *

Bridgette watched as Harold climbed out from under the table, rubbing his sore head. She pursed her lips, because she had seen Izzy do that when she was deep in thought and thus decided that had to be the norm.

"Harold, do you really think girls are gross?"

"Ow… n-no, I don't."

As he tried to rub the pain away, he placed his drawing on the table. Bridgette took a long look at it, and asked, "Then how come your cyborg-ninja has to be a boy? Can't he be a girl?"

Harold considered this, wondering just what a cyborg-ninja-girl would be like. So he took his pencil, and started drawing. Bridgette watched, wanting confirmation that her friend didn't think her gender was gross. "Why are you adding balloons to her chest, Harold? … Oh!"

As this took place, Leshawna stood up and approached Duncan, the cause of this chaos. Speaking up over Izzy's hollering, she asked, "So what makes you not think girls are gross, green boy?"

"I told you, I'm above all that," he said with a cocky grin, the kind of grin that says, 'this four year old knows how the world works.'

"Well, I think you might be fibbing!"

"Duncan's always fibbing," Courtney piped in. "He cannot be trusted, I keep telling you all that!"

"Harold," Bridgette was saying, "her skirt needs to be longer than that, or it'll show off her underwear! No one wants to see that!"

Courtney stomped up to Duncan, and put her little hands on her little hips. "Why don't you prove that you don't think girls are gross? Huh? The burden of proof lies on-"

She didn't get to finish the sentence, as Duncan leaned in and planted a wet kiss on Courtney's cheek. There was a moment of silence, then an ear-splitting, "EWWWWW!" joined the shrill screaming in the room.

"Ewwww! Ew ew ew! Boys are gross, boys are so gross!" Courtney screamed, running around the room.

"AAAAH, I HAVE BEEN CORRUPTED BY MY OWN REVOLUTION!" Izzy hollered.

"Get his spit off of me! EWWWW!"

Courtney wiped her cheek with the back of her hand and flicked it aggressively. The excess saliva splattered on poor Noah, who screamed out in horror. "Argh! Courtney, stop that! Ewww yuck, Duncan spit! He's right, girls are gross!"

"ARRRRRRRRGH!"

"EWWWWWWWW!"

Gwen watched this all from the shadows, until she felt someone wedge in there with her. Turning, she saw Cody, Jude, and Beth in the dark with her, pleading with their eyes to not rat them out to the pandemonium happening out there.

"Why does she look so mad, Harold?" Bridgette asked. "Can't she have a happier look?"

Harold tried desperately to change this, but when he tried to erase his drawing's current eyes, the bad eraser on his pencil fudged it. A dark smear appeared over her eyes. It looked weird.

And it was at this moment that Chef Hatchet walked in. Courtney and Izzy were running around screaming until they ran into each other, effectively silencing them for a few moments. Several children were hiding in the dark, others were spitting and whining and complaining. Only Bridgette and Harold appeared normal, then he heard what she was saying.

"No no no, you're making it look like she has three boobs, Harold. Look, you need to write that she has two next to her so people don't get confused. Here, let me help, I learned the alphabet recently…"

"Really? Wow!"

"Yeah, not bad for a gross girl, huh?"

"I don't think you're-"

"ENOUGH!"

Chef Hatchet's shout startled everyone, including Bridgette who had only started to write "2 Boobs" next to the drawing's chest. The daycare owner growled in frustration, as he stared down the children.

"Alright, I've had it with you all acting so aggressive! Today, I found a way to help you vent that energy! Everyone, come here! Right now!"

All the children obediently formed up around him, except for the sleeping Owen. Chef noticed the paper in Harold's hand, and snatched it out. Looking at the strange drawing, he growled as he muttered, "I won't have gross drawings like this in my daycare!"

He promptly threw the drawing out of the window, to which Harold cried out in tragic protest.

* * *

 **(Confessional Cam - Is this even really a confessional anymore?)**

 **Harold** \- * _standing outside in the field, kicking at the grass_ * "I really wanted to keep that drawing, Bridgette was helping me make it! Why's he gotta be so mean? Now no one will realize our awesome potential!"

* * *

 _ **(Meanwhile, a strange interlude happens!)**_

Harold and Bridgette's drawing flew through the wind, and soared up into the air. It swirled, it swished, and it flew west.

For years, the drawing was airborne, lost up in the clouds, like an iCloud app that was erased, but not gone forever. Years passed by, since the drawing by the little children was made.

It soared across the ocean, taking years (as we previously stated) to cross without falling into the water. It eventually reached Japan, and continued soaring through the air.

Finally, after years of being up in the (i)cloud, it started to descend. It reached a Japanese video game company building, where there was a window wide open. Inside, a concept artist was slumped at his desk, completely out of ideas.

Then the piece of paper slipped into the building through the window, landing on the desk. He stared at it in wonder, trying to understand where it came from, and what it meant.

From what he grasped, it was a woman, a busty one wearing a short skirt and a blindfold. She was clenching a sword, and appeared to be partly robotic. Written next to her was "2 B."

"… BRILLIANT!" the concept artist declared. "We're so making a game about a character like this!"

* * *

 _ **(Back to the story's "present" time now.)**_

Harold was watching the paper fly off into the sky as Chef led the children outside. Gwen was trying desperately to stay in the shadows, but the sun was out, and thus she wasn't having the most luck.

"Okay kids," Chef Hatchet shouted, "meet your new plaything during recess! It's the Mini-Mech!"

He pointed to what looked like a small mech. It had long arms covered in padding, and the driver's seat was only for someone the size of a four year old. The legs also had padding, it looked like someone had safety-proofed a tiny mech walker.

"This is the Bop'Em Robot, safety protected by professionals who know what they're doing for children's entertainment," Chef Hatchet said. "As far as you know, anyway."

"What was that last part?" Noah asked.

"Nothing! Now, here's what we're going to do: we're going to let you take turns driving it, and chase the others around. It'll be fun!"

* * *

 **(Confessional Cam - There's a lot more of these now, we're popular again!)**

 **Chef Hatchet** \- * _sitting at one of the tables in one of the small chairs_ * "Okay, maybe it hasn't been looked over by actual professionals, but anything to get these kids off my back for two minutes is fine by me."

* _The camera pans back to show Noah sitting at the table too, working at his puzzle. He looks up with an accusatory stare._ *

 **Noah** \- "Now THAT I heard!"

* _Chef rolls his eyes, then slaps the puzzle off of the table, scattering it around. Noah gapes in horror, then glares at Chef._ *

 **Noah** \- "I'm four years old, and even I think that was really immature."

* * *

"Is this _really_ the best idea you have for us?" Leshawna asked, staring warily at the mech. "Playing chase in a large machine?"

"Aw come on, it'll be fun!" Chef Hatchet countered. "Who wants to drive it first?"

Cody, Noah, and Izzy were already studying the machine, marveling at it. Duncan was scoping it out from afar. Most of the others appeared rather nervous about this thing, even if they were always desperate for fun.

"I'll do it!" Harold declared, grinning excitedly. "I always wanted to drive one of these cool machines!"

"No you won't," Chef Hatchet declared. "Boys who draw gross things don't get to play with nice things!"

Hurt and upset, Harold walked off, staring down at the ground. Bridgette and Leshawna watched him go, then exchanged glances.

"Maybe we were too hard on him?" Bridgette asked.

"Hey, you were the one who was helping him with the drawing, not me," Leshawna pointed out.

"Leshawna, come on, you're not helping! Blame won't get us anywhere!"

* * *

 **(Confessional Cam - Still the same age it always has been.)**

 **Bridgette** \- * _in the sandbox, trying to draw a dolphin in the sand_ * "Is it wrong to want the world to be a slightly nicer place? I mean, I love to have fun like anyone else, but I don't want to always be rude and insulting! That's how you get adults like Chef."

* * *

"Out of my way, nerds," Duncan declared, pushing Cody and Noah aside, beginning his own inspection of the machine. As he did so, studying the electronic panel on the back, he grinned as he started fishing in his pocket.

"It's pretty cool, but I think it could use some… modifications," he said most deviously as he pulled the desired item of disaster from his pocket.

"So, are we seriously just supposed to run from that thing?" Courtney angrily asked Chef, an angry look on her angry face. "I'm angry about this, you know!? This doesn't look like fun!"

"Better you all sitting in a room," Chef grumbled, "flicking boogers at each other."

"Hee hee hee! Boogers," Izzy repeated. Then her emerald eyes went wide, and she shrieked. "NOOOOOO! MY CORRUPTED REVOLUTION COMES BACK TO HAUNT ME! I AM GROSS! ARGGGGH!"

She started running around the outdoor area, flailing her arm and shrieking as loud as her four year old lungs would allow. All the kids flinched, except Harold, who was all the way at the other side.

"Argh! That does it," Chef Hatchet declared. "Someone get in the Mini-Mech and chase down Loud Girl!"

"I'm on it, Chef man!" Duncan replied. He climbed up into the pilot seat, pulled the safety harness down in front of him, and turned on the machine.

"Hey wait a minute," Cody shouted, waving his hands around. "I wanted a turn first-"

His response was to receive a kick from the padded leg of the Mini-Mech. The little geek flew through the air from the punting, and landed a good few feet away. Everyone gasped in horror, including Gwen, who was hiding in the only shadow she could find at one of the building's corners.

"Hey I'm already getting the hang of this," Duncan declared, laughing. "Thanks, Chef!"

"Okay, this was a bad idea!" Chef spoke up, walking towards the machine. "Duncan, get out of there right now!"

"Chef, wait!" Noah hollered. "I'm not sure that's safe! Can you really do that? Are you-"

The Mini-Mech leapt into the air, fist extended upwards. The jumping uppercut socked Chef under his chin, sending him skyward and landing in a defeated heap on the ground.

"SURE YOU CAN?!" Noah screamed in horror.

"Ahaha!" Duncan laughed victoriously from his pilot seat. "This is awesome! Now, how about we play chase like he suggested?"

The Mini-Mech started sprinting full speed at the children. They all screamed and ran every which way, trying to get away from this rather intimidating sight.

"Ahhh, he's gonna trample us all," Leshawna hollered.

"We're doomed! Doomed!" Noah screamed.

"I wish I was old enough to watch more movies," Jude piped in, "then I could probably make references to slightly similar scenes like this, and look really cool before I die!"

"Duncan, you're being mean and unreasonable!" Courtney shouted from up in the treehouse.

The little punk looked around, trying to see who to terrorize next. He could see Gwen braving the sun to pull the dazed Cody into the shadows with her. Beth dove into a flower patch, hoping her bee outfit would provide camouflage.

Then he saw Bridgette struggling to open the door back inside, unaware that Chef Hatchet had locked it earlier to prevent the kids from escaping from a fun game of chase. As the little girl pulled harder, she could hear and even feel the Mini-Mech's footsteps approaching her.

Her eyes widened, and she slowly turned around. One of the mech's hands reached down and grabbed the hood of her hoodie. Lifting her up in the air, she could hear Duncan laughing.

"Well now, Little Miss Dolphin Girl," he said, "I just realized something! I can break out of this stupid daycare, but I need something they always take with them in the movies: a hostage!

"So you're going to be my hostage as I storm the fence! But don't worry, I won't hurt you, no matter how _gross_ you are, girl! Hahahaha!"

Duncan started piloting the Mini-Mech towards the chainlink fence. Bridgette was held up as high as the arm could reach, her hoodie clenched in the machine's fist. She squirmed and squealed in fear, but there was no escaping that grasp.

"Oh no," Leshawna shouted, "Bridgette! No! Bring her back!"

"I always talk about people dying," Gwen cried from the shadows, "but I don't want her to be one of them!"

"I refuse to let you taint my revolution!" Izzy shouted, sprinting full speed at the Mini-Mech. She slammed head-first into the back of it, effectively dazing her and leaving her goofy on the ground.

"MEDIC," several of the kids started screaming.

Bridgette hiccuped in worry as she saw the chainlink fence come closer and closer. She didn't want to go out there, out there was… unknown! Who knows if she could ever return?!

* * *

 **(Confessional Cam - Is known.)**

 **Bridgette** \- * _finishing her dolphin picture in the sandbox_ * "Courtney is always telling us that her mother says girls need to be "strong" and "independent," that we shouldn't be asking boys for help.

"… At that point, I didn't really care."

* * *

"HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!"

Bridgette's desperate plea reached Harold's ears from across the field. The sad little nerd looked up to see Bridgette being carried off by the evil mech. He could even hear Duncan's victorious laughter, and suddenly the picture was crystal clear.

Sprinting across the field as fast as his four year old legs could carry him, Harold reached the Mini-Mech with surprising speed. He didn't realize that Duncan was moving much slower, because the little punk didn't know exactly _how_ he was going to break the chainlink fence with the mech.

"Do I punch it," Duncan was saying to himself, "or do I just walk through? Are there lasers on this thing? Ooo, maybe one of these buttons is the laser button!"

As he started pushing random buttons, hoping that Chef had decided to give a mech with deathly lasers to four year olds, Harold was on the back of the mech. The scrawny kid searched frantically for the main On/Off switch.

When he found it, Harold was horrified to see that the switch was covered with super glue. Duncan had thought ahead, there was no way that switch was going to flip! Curses!

* * *

 **(Confessional Cam - No lasers equipped here. Darn.)**

 **Duncan** \- * _at one end of the art table, pushing a half-finished puzzle off and ruining it; Noah's loud crying can be heard in the distance_ * "Okay, I didn't think the plan through, but I wasn't actually gonna hurt Bridgette! I just like scaring the other kids! Is that so wrong?"

 **Harold** \- * _at the other end of the art table, where Noah is slumped over crying, pounding his little fist in frustration_ * "I've always wanted to be a hero, I think that's a good career for me. But I didn't think I'd have to be one so early on in my career path! I hope other avenues are open to me, like a pirate or a samurai."

* * *

Harold scrambled to open the electronic panel on the back of the Mini-Mech, and finally managed to pry it open. He realized, again to his horror, that the wires giving the machine power had all been super-glued at the ends; Duncan was preventing him from yanking them out.

"Curses," he cursed. He tried pulling anyway, but they didn't budge. Trying desperately to think of how he could pull or cut the wires with the little time he had, he remembered something his mother once said.

" _Don't you ever, EVER, bite someone. I will be VERY disappointed in you if you ever bite someone, Harold. Do you understand me?_ "

Harold paused for a second, and heard Bridgette sobbing from the mech's fist. He took a deep breath, and said to himself, "Mother, I understand, but this is some _thing_ , not some _one._ "

With this loophole, he opened his mouth and BIT into the wires of the Mini-Mech. There was an intense electrical surge, shocking the ever-loving bejeebers out of poor Harold. The mech started twitching, jerking around at the limbs.

"Ow! Ooo, I think I'm gonna be sick," Bridgette wailed.

"Eww, puking? Girls are the gross ones!" Duncan remarked. "Now… wait, what's going on?"

The machine didn't obey when he used the controls. Then it suddenly started spinning around, going completely haywire. And with a sudden sprint from malfunctioning legs, it started making a beeline straight towards the daycare!

Duncan and Bridgette both screamed, him in a slightly higher pitch. The arms flailed about, eventually letting go of Bridgette. The little blonde girl bounced on the grass, landing painfully but alright. Gwen and Cody hurried from the shadows to help her up, which was lucky for them since Duncan and the mech crashed into the wall of the daycare.

This in turn brought the whole wall down in a horrible crash, and then the roof, then several other parts of the walls and the roof. Dust flooded the area, blinding everyone for a minute.

When it was over, Chef Hatchet sat up, rubbing his chin and groaning. As he stood up over the settling dust and debris, he could see the Mini-Mech on its back in the midst of the rubble. Duncan, still in the cockpit, coughed and hacked.

"That was… actually still pretty awesome," Duncan said with a laugh. He very quickly stopped smiling when he saw Chef Hatchet loom over him.

"So, you like it in there, punk?" Chef grabbed the seatbelt that Duncan had refused to wear, buckled him in, then tied several knots in it to prevent him from getting out, or even raise his arms. "Then you can stay in there until the end of the day!"

"Awww, dude," Duncan whined, "that's not cool!" He struggled to free himself, but he was quite literally tied into the seat of the dead mech. Glancing around, he tried to think of something. "Get me out of this! I, um, I gotta pee!"

Chef Hatchet walked away, muttering, "Go pee yourself."

"Awww, man!"

Outside, the children were all climbing out of their hiding spots now that the chaos was finally over. Gwen was holding her arm over her head to provide some shade, hissing in anger. "This is why I hate being outside."

"It's not so bad," Cody remarked. He glanced down at Bridgette, who was sitting up and rubbing her head. The little blonde girl let out a huge sigh, and then laughed.

"Okay, that wasn't SO bad," Bridgette said. "But wait! Who saved me?"

"That was Harold," Cody said, pointing at a collapsed figure amid the settling dust.

"Oh no! Harold!"

Bridgette scrambled to her feet and sprinted over to Harold. The little nerd was covered in black dust, and a few sparks flew from his mouth when he coughed. The little ocean lover helped him sit up, as smoke expelled from his nostrils.

"Are you okay?" she asked, the most obvious but ultimately pointless question to ask someone in this situation; Bridgette gets a pass because she's four.

"Everything hurts," he groaned, hacking up the last of the smoke from his body. "Every part of my body hurts."

When Harold would grow up, he could list every part of his body, in alphabetical order. But for now, he could only add, "Gosh, it _all_ hurts!"

"You saved me," Bridgette cooed in admiration. She leaned in, and smooched his cheek in thanks.

Though he still had some soot on his face, the blush on his facial features was quite evident. "Um, not everything hurts now."

Bridgette giggled, as the other children all formed around the two. They all started talking about how AWESOME that mech chase was, as if it hadn't been the most terrifying thing they could recall in the four years they had been alive, approximately two of those they had the ability to recall.

* * *

 **(Confessional Cam - Help, we're trapped in the rubble!)**

* _All of the students are at the art table, as Chef can be seen putting hazard tape around the collapsed part of the daycare._ *

 **Jude** \- "I totally could have done that too. But I, um, I was told by my mother that I cannot bite anything that I don't intend to eat. I couldn't eat the mech…"

 **Courtney** \- "Okay, so maybe that was kind of cool of Harold. But still, I hope he doesn't take from this that girls need a boy's help."

 **Harold** \- * _picks at his teeth until he pulls a wire that was stuck between his teeth_ * "… Cool."

 **Noah** \- * _He silently and methodically puts the pieces of the puzzle together, until it is finally finished! Laughing happily, he runs around cheering, then goes to try and find himself a gold star._ *

* * *

All of the children were seated outside, at one of the large tables that could be used for outdoor lunch. That's exactly what they were using, since most of the tables had been crushed by the collapsed part of the building.

When Harold sat down at the table, Bridgette quickly sat down next to him. Scooting a little closer to him when he glanced over, she tried to hide the little blush on her face. This in turn made him have to hide the little blush on his.

Gwen was with them, but only because Cody had opened an umbrella over her to give her some shade. She didn't smile, but she frowned noticeably less at him, which was an achievement for him.

Owen had woken up, not due to the heavy crash and part of the building collapsing, but the smell of lunches. Of course he was a little confused of what happened, but he took the explanation in stride.

"I wish I could have seen the robot ride crash," he said as he munched on his lunch. "That must have been awesome."

"Yeah," Izzy declared, swinging her carrot sticks around as she continued, "it was all "BAM!" and "Oh-no!" and "Crash!" "BOOM!" "CRUNCH!" Haha!"

Beth and Jude watched Izzy reenact the disaster, then glanced over at the end of the table. The Mini-Mech was seated there, with Duncan still tied up inside. He couldn't eat, except for when Leshawna poked his mouth with a cheese stick.

"Come on, green boy," she teased, grinning ear to ear. "Eat up! You wouldn't want to miss lunch, would you?"

"Aw darn it all to heck," Duncan cursed, trying to avoid his food being fed to him. "Come on, I didn't mean anything about it, I wasn't gonna hurt any of you."

"You punted Cody and kidnapped Bridgette."

"That was a joke! Besides, they are fine now, right?" With an irritated sigh, Duncan shook his head. "You want to know the worst part of it all?"

"What's that?"

"I actually _do_ have to go to the bathroom now."

Leshawna glanced down at the tied-up seatbelt, then up at the boy stuck in there. "You might want to tell Chef, if you cannot hold it that long."

Courtney let out an indignant "hmmph!" and said, "Serves you right, spreading lies around and trying to take a girl hostage! Anyway, the least you can do is not complain while we have our lunches!"

Noah watched all of this, then snickered to himself as he glanced down at the gold star he stuck on his shirt. "All in all, it's not been a bad day."

"Hey, Noah," Izzy called out, "why do you have a gold star on your chest? Did you do something good?"

* * *

 ** _(Approximately 10+ years in the future…)_**

"Surviving a day with you crazy people is very good!"

Izzy blinked as Noah spoke up again, then turned towards him. "Are you referring to now, or then?"

"You know, it all kind of blurs together at this point. One day, I'll find a way to escape this madness."

"Oh, Noah Noah Noah," Izzy said gleefully as she wrapped an arm around his neck and shoulders, pulling him in playfully for a hug. "You're fully indoctrinated in our madness, my friend, your denial is simply a cute quirk of yours at this point."

"… Save me from this madness."

* * *

 _ **(Back to the past!)**_

"I said, save me from this madhouse!"

"Duncan, shut up," Courtney snapped. "You haven't the right the talk!"

"Yes, I do! You all don't get it, do you? We're going to be stuck in this daycare forever! Under the tyranny of Chef Hatchet! We're never going to escape, we're going to grow old and stupid here!"

As the green-haired boy struggled more against the binds of his tied-up seatbelt, the other children all exchanged glances.

"Don't we get picked up every day?" Jude asked.

"Don't we get nice food and lots of playtime?" Owen added.

"Don't we all want to go out there and explore the world?" Duncan interrupted. "Don't you want freedom? We want to be free! If we're stuck in this daycare, we'll never get to see what is out there!

"Face it, we might as well choose who we want to marry and have our kids with while we're stuck here, because we're never going to meet anyone ever again!"

There was a silence among the shocked toddlers, all of them looking at each other as this realization of completely factual and ultimately realistic future sunk in. After all, there was no disputing Duncan's infallible logic.

"… I call dibs on marrying Gwen!" Cody declared, grinning ear to ear.

"Hey, no fair," Jude exclaimed. "I might want to marry her!"

"But I wanna marry her too!" Izzy chimed in.

How the rest of this would be settled is a tale for another time, or at least the next chapter/episode. Please converse amongst yourselves about how this is the best/worst/most mundane story you've ever read until such a time comes around. Then explain your answer and show your work.

Anyone who leaves a nice review will get a gold star. Any mean reviews will be dubbed "gross."


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